The Denying Thought of Love
by Fochi-chan
Summary: He slowly touched the handle of the sword, but was stopped from gripping it as a hand took hold of his wrist. He stared up and into dark blue eyes, teal marking covered the lower eyelids. "Oi kid" Ichigo marvled at the deep, ruff voice and stared into the dark blue eyes, which reminded him of the ocean at night. Yaoi in later chapters


**Title:** The Denying Thought of Love

**Warning: **Yaoi in later chapters. Grimmjow x Ichigo. Cursing can appear. Young Ichigo in a couple of chapters

**Rating:** M

**Summery:** He slowly touched the handle of the sword, but was stopped from gripping it as a hand took hold of his wrist. He stared up and into dark blue eyes, teal marking covered the lower eyelids. "Oi kid" Ichigo marvled at the deep, ruff voice and stared into the dark blue eyes, which reminded him of the ocean at night.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach

* * *

_Sand_

Wherever he looked, up, down, left or right, he only saw the ever so soft looking sand. Miles upon miles of sand, dunes after dunes of broken stones were what his eyes saw at first.

A hand softly touched the sand, gliding through it and felt the grained dust. He raised himself enough to grab a handful of the pale grey brown matter, watching it slowly tickle down his hands; between his fingers like… he didn't know what. He pulled his hand closer to his face. Tired, weary sky blue eyes peeked open to stare at what still clung in his hand. He glanced up and tried to focus more on what was around him.

It was then he finally saw that sand wasn't the only thing around him. There was some form of small trees too, which looked like they would crumble at the softest of breath upon them. They looked like some sort of stone, like…

_Quarts_

He knew these things, he knew that, but he felt tired and as if someone had split his head open and filled it with stones.

A castle covered the horizon, behind the many dunes of sand and few quart trees. It was white and looked like it was close, but he somehow knew from experience that it was miles away. His feet knew the path in the castle, his room and the servants who roamed the grand halls. And they fear they had had towards him, coloring the walls with its delicious smell.

He slowly pulled himself up, groaning lowly at the pain. A dripping noise caught his attention. It sounded like it was close, but the only thing near him was the trees and sand. There were some other noises too, but they were far away. Blue eyes glanced down, staring at what used to be his white uniform colored in some form of white liquor. It dripped from his chest, over his stomach where it ended at his pants. There was also some on his forehead, made it itch and he tried to pull a hand up to rub it away, but gave up as he fell down beside him.

The sand around him also had spots with the same colors, collected in small hardened balls. It was such a beautiful color. It was a pity it covered the surrounding and not gleaming from his blade. It was gorgeous, it was…

_Blood_

The many wounds on his body oozed with blood, his life essence, bringing him closer to deaths door.

_But wasn't he already dead?_

The male scoffed harshly into the heavy air, cursing at the weakness he had been displaying, as he slowly became more aware. No one was around, but it was still a disgrace for him to be bleeding like some prey, waiting to be eaten. He could feel the pain now, in every nerve and muscle. One of the larger wounds, a diagonal cut on his chest, was still oozing with blood, as it had done when he had first gotten it. He pressed a hand against it, hissing as some of the sand entered the wounds, making it sting even more.

There was someone fighting close to where he laid, their powers passing around him as rings in a teacup, bouncing around him. It was trying to crush him in his weakened state, weighting him down. The tired blue eyes narrowed in concentration, brows clenching as he tried to get up, ignoring the pain to the best of his abilities.

He staggered as he finally got up, growling as he leaned against a quarts and covered it with a light layer of blood. He hated the feeling weak, along with the hopelessness and utter defeat. The other hand was slowly raised; feeling like it had just gotten 100kg heavier, and opened a black hole in the air. The static sound it made as it opened bought a smirk on his face.

_A garganta_

_He had somehow opened one_

He staggered into head, feeling his blood traveling down his skin and joined by sweat in its little adventure. The things he wanted the most at that moment was to rest, curl into the fetus position and wait till he had regained his powers. He wanted to wait till his wounds had closed, but he couldn't wait, he didn't have time for that.

He needed to regain his strength before he could heal his wounds.

He came to the other side and stared at the fake illuminated street. He glanced up and sneered at the moon, hating its pale glow on his skin, as if it was mocking him with his weakness. Cornflower blue eyes closed as he took in the many different scents that assaulted his senses. This place was very different than the place he had just left. This place wasn't covered with stones, but with stones, green plants, houses and beings that walked around. Their scents made his mouth water

_The scent of human souls._

He stepped out of the he fell down, all of his strength having left his body after he closed the garganta. He glanced down and stared at the house he was falling towards. It seemed like all the other buildings around him, but with an attached building.

The sound of wind rushing by greeted h his ears. His blood was rushing around in his body, as he continued his free falling. It all somehow calmed him. He touched the sheath of his sword, Pantera, before he finally hit the roof of the building, bouncing by the force. The air in his longs left him in a whoosh, making him cough and splatter the surface with blood. He laid back for a moment and closed his eyes. A cold wind breezed past and ruffled his blue locks, cooling the sweat and making the blood stick to his skin.

_It somehow…_

_Felt nice…_

But he pushed himself up as the need to rest surface to the front of his mind. Sleep was on the top on the sop of his priority list. He pulled himself to the corner of the roof and stared down at the window underneath him. It was slightly open; a bed was placed right beside it. He pushed the window the rest of the way so he could enter, falling on top of the bed.

He took a quick glance around, looking for any escape routes if it was needed. Only a fool would immediately relax in unknown territories, resulting in their death.

There was the bed he was laying on, a desk beside and a closet. A door was slightly jarred, showing wooden floor beyond it and possibly leading to the hall.

He curled in the bed and tried to calm his breath, slowly feeding of the surrounding reiatsu as the smaller hollows would do. It would be enough until he could hunt after a meal. But for now, he would…

_Sleep_

* * *

The door to the room opened and spilled a cone of yellow light into the room. A head peeked in, which belonged to a child; large brown eyes staring at the figure lying on top of his bead. Curiosity was shining in the amber depths as he slowly listed to the prone figure. Was if one of his father's friends who had had too much to drink? Or was it another one of those ghosts which his mother and father couldn't see?

The man had long blue hair tied into a braid, looking like the sky on a summer day. His clothes were white and torn here and there, white mixing with red. He had what looked like a sleeve on his right arm. His pants were almost gone, going as far as to his knees. He was also missing a sandal.

The orange haired boy slowly neared the sleeping figure. He went to the man's head and softly touched the blue strands and marveled at how soft it was, like the candy floss his father loved to eat, but more firm. But it was sticky like the candy floss. He moved the man's hair away from his face to stare at his eyes and noted the teal markings there. His hand was still sticking, but he continued to ignore it as the need to notice more appeared.

The guy had some sort of jaw bone attached to the right of his cheek, white teeth gleaming eerily from the hall's light. The orange haired boy touched it and gasped at the cold feeling of the white surface. It was then he noticed the red stripes his hands left.

He hesitated before looking at his hands.

_It was blood_

The young boy began to shake as he stared at what appeared to be blood on his hands. He had at first thought the guy had somehow spilled red paint on his body, and not blood as he now identified it with. He was scared now, for he didn't want the man with the beautiful blue hair to die. He shook him, but got nothing more than a twitch. Tears tingled at the back of Ichigo's eyes.

He ran out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen where his mother was. She was standing at the counter, cleaning the last of tonight's dinner.

"Oka-san!" He shouted as he hurried over to her, pulling on her pants to get her attention. Her brown eyes only crinkled at the corners as she smiled to him, before she continued to clean the kitchen. The tears were appearing at his eyelashes as his mother ignored him. "Oka-san!" He pulled harder as the tears finally spilled.

She knelled down after she had washed her hands. Being on eye levels with the younger boy was better than towering over him, which would make him even more scared. She slowly caressed his hair as she looked in his eyes; fear being the strongest emotion that appeared, followed by concern and a bit of curiosity.

"What is it, Ichi-chan?"

He grabbed her sleeve and began pulling her toward his room, forgetting all about the blood which covered his hands. He opened his mouth to tell her, but sound left his mouth. It was as if a stone was lodged in his throat and wouldn't let him talk. He continued pulling on her sleeve, making her stubble a bit as he tried to run up the stairs toward his room. He wanted to show her what it was that had him so scared.

He stopped in front of his room. His mother, Masaki, looked at him before she softly opened to door, staring around in the room to find… nothing. Everything was where they were meant to be. The quilts and pillows were unmade and the window was open, making the curtains flutter in the soft breeze. She tsk'ed softly, Ichigo would catch a cold if he didn't take care. She stepped into the room to close the window. She raised her leg so she could lean over and close the window, when Ichigo's shout surprised her.

"Oka-san! Don't!"

The mother stopped and turned around to stare at her song, leg raised and knee bends. She softly lowered her knee and waited for an explanation, knowing she would get one soon.

"Can't you see the injured man, Oka-san?"

She glanced at the bed and waited with a held breath, hoping she would be able to see what she once had been able to, before sighing. She couldn't see such stuff anymore, and her son always reminded her of that fact, pointing out if she almost sat on someone by accident, or almost walkeing into some.

But if there was an injured man there, why had he chosen to lie on her son's bed? It was the first time anything like that had happened. Usually they would be outside the house, near the river or close to where they had died. But they were usually never sleeping, which she also knew from experience.

Maybe Isshin could help, he could still sense them.

She walked to the door after smiling to Ichigo. "Isshin honey? Can you come here for a moment?"

A man came running towards them, each step sounded like the clap of thunder as he ran up the stairs and down the hall toward Ichigo's room. Ichigo felt a light sheen of sweat appear on his upper lip as his father skidded across the hall outside his room. The dark haired male stuck his head in a few seconds later, a sheepish smile stretching his mouth.

Ichigo took a quick look at the blue haired man lying on his bed. He was worried that his mother or father had awakened hi, but seeing that the man still slept, even while scrunching his eyebrows, made Ichigo sigh relieved. But the worry immediately returned as he remembered the man needed help, and it couldn't go fast enough.

"Nee… Otou-san, can you help him?" He asked while looking up at him, rubbing his eyes at the remains of the tears he had shed.

Isshin took a quick glance around, his hand shadowing his eyes as he made a big number of searching. He had noticed the man's presence the moment Masaki had called, having cursed softly under his breath at the possibility of it having been a hollow. It had felt similar to one, but also like a shinigami.

"There is no man in here, my beautiful son!"

Ichigo glanced back and forth between his mother and father before his gaze returned to the blue haired being with the torn clothes. He forgot about them not being able to see ghosts. Did they not like the man? Did they want him to sleep forever? Had he done something wrong?

But that didn't matter at all. The guy was hurt, and he obviously needed help.

Masaki slowly walked over to her husband and stood beside him, glancing at her son with a worried look in her eyes. She knew he would need some help to take care of the man, but she or her husband couldn't help the injured man as they couldn't see him. She turned to Isshin and felt her eyes soften as she placed a delicate hand on his shoulder, smiling as she nodded.

"How about you help Ichi-chan? Teach him how to bangade a person, he may need it for the future."

Isshin grinned as he gave a thumps up to his wife, teeth shining. His ears then perked up, his tall form standing still as he listened to something they couldn't hear. He sniffed the air, like a hound dog would do while searching for its prey, before he stopped and clasped his cheeks in horror. "Masaki's food is burning! Nooooo! My wonderful Masaki has never burnt the food, ever!" He turned to her, giant crocodile tears trailing from his eyes. "I will eat it all!"

"But I'm not making dinner" Masaki chuckled as she crossed her arms, Isshin immediately hugging her around the waist as he 'cried'. She awkwardly petted his short black locks. "Alright, alright. I'll go take a look on the 'dinner'" She smiled as he let go, sniffling. "You go help Ichigo then, alright?"

She then left the room and walked downstairs. Ichigo continued to stare at his father in wonder, not believing the lie either, seeing as they had just finished eating. He was pretty sure his father was crazy, just like the monsters he read in some manga's

A groan came from the bed, and Ichigo turned towards the man. The blue haired man's brows were clenched, sweat trailing down his flushed skin. He would call the guy for Blue, because of his hair color.

Ichigo turned back toward his father, his eyes pleading for help. "Otou-san…" Ichigo whimpered.

Isshin slowly stopped jumping around, the silly goofy grin disappearing into a straight line. It scared Ichigo whenever his father became this serious, seeing as it only happened when Ichigo had really done something bad. "Ichigo" Isshin softly said as he neared the bed, his eyes narrowed slightly" Can you tell me what damage the man has?"

"Um…" Ichigo neared the bed and stared at Blue's wounds. "He had like this big wound on his chest, and some small ones on his face and arms" He couldn't see anything else wrong with the man.

His father almost danced out of the room, singing that he would quickly be bad with the needed materials.

Ichigo continued to stay in the room, a puzzled look on his face as he watched his grown, but not mature, father skip out like a high school girl. He could somehow _feel_ his father enter the attached clinic beside the house. He shivered at the unknown feeling, not feel comfortable with something he didn't know. His father had a different feel than the masked monsters on the streets, covered all in white with a hole through their chests.

His father had a faint _feel_ like the people who fought the monsters with swords and black clothes. They would battle the monsters and cut their head off of their shoulders like those mature action movies his father and mother liked to watch. No else seemed to notice them, only a dark blue haired boy on his age, but he always ignored them.

Before Ichigo could continue to dwell more on the thought of the monsters, his father entered the room covered from head to toe in a roll of bandage, looking a lot like a mummy. He had another roll of bandage in his, along with some small plastic packages. "I got the bandages my handsome son!" Isshin then proceeded to drop the materials into Ichigo's hands before he rolled around, trying to get out of his mummy costume.

Ichigo held the bandage and felt the rough texture with his finger pads. He walked to Blue's side and touched his hair, feeling his heated skin. He was worried, sure that the man was having a fever.

"Booh!"

"Aah" Ichigo screamed as he turned his small body around and tried to hit his father with his small fists. Isshin dodged easily and laughed softly as he held his songs fists with his own larger hands.

"You have to be stronger to hit your older man, Ichigo!"

"I'll beat you someday!"

"That's a promise, then" A hearty laugh came from the elder man's chest as he let go of Ichigo's fists. Ichigo felt toward his father's stomach as the man let go, the sudden release having caught him by surprise.

A groan surprised Ichigo, making him turn again toward Blue. Ichigo stared at his chest and gulped softly. He sat up on the bed and took the small packages and bandage. He turned brown eyes upon his father, who sat on the chair he had just left.

"What is his condition now?" Isshin asked softly as he glanced to where the presence lay down.

"Um…. His chest is still bl-bleeding, his skin is pale and he's sweating…" Ichigo fidgeted with his shirt as he waited for his father to explain how to bandage Blue.

"Hmmm…." Isshin hummed as he scratched his chin. He smiled to his son and motioned towards the small packages he held. "Open those and clean the wound, they will disinfect the wounds so it won't get worse."

Ichigo did as his father told him too and opened one of the small plastic packages. He took the wet tissue out and began with the smaller wounds around his arms and face. He winched whenever Blue twitched, holding his breath before he continued to clean the wounds with soft circular motions. He slowly went to the chest and stilled as he noticed the hole Blue had in his stomach.

It looked a lot like the holes the monsters' with masks had. But those were always right in the middle of the chest. His bone like thingie was only covering a small part of his face, unlike the monsters. His _feel_ was also weird, like a mix between his father and the monsters, and his father wasn't a bad person. He cleaned the chest, and glanced at it after he was done. It had stopped bleeding and looked like it had been there for about a week now, closed and red around the edges.

Ichigo wrinkled his nose in confusion as he opened a new disinfection tissue. That was not normal from what he knew, having helped his father in the clinic whenever he was needed. The blood was fresh, so if the blood was fresh and Blue's wounds were closed, that meant….

Ichigo shook his head in denial. Blue wouldn't do stuff like that, he wasn't like those monsters.

The orange haired boy turned to his father, his hands shaking lightly. Isshin silently handed the bandage over with a proud smile. He took his own roll of bandage and showed his son how to apply it onto the wounded areas, goofy smile on his face as he finished and somehow ended up like a mummy again. Ichigo grinned before doing as his father had explained.

He softly raised Blue against the head post of the bed, panting lightly. Blue was heavy, _really heavy _compared to his smaller form, but that didn't stop him. He removed the remaining sleeve and placed it on his table before he placed one end of the bandage under Blue's arm. He rolled it around, trying to make sure it was tight, without clenching Blue's skin. He stuck his tongue out in concentration as he tried to imitate his father to the best of his abilities.

The end result wasn't the best, messy but it would do for now. Ichigo smiled, proud of his small victory. He turned to his father and awaited what he was supposed to do next. Isshin pulled some small band-aids up from his pocket, Pokémon's covering them. Ichigo wordlessly took them and applied it to the smaller wounds.

"You have done a good job Ichigo! This deserves a piece of cake!" Isshin shouted as he ruffled Ichigo's orange locks with eyes shining proudly.

Ichigo glanced at his father in surprised. His mother never allowed cake after 8pm, and it was now, he glanced at the clock, 8:13pm. But a cake was a cake, and he wouldn't deny that it sounded good. Isshin laughed again before he stood up, pulling Ichigo along with him and placed his son on his shoulders. He bend down when he got to the door so Ichigo wouldn't smack against it, before he continued running down the stairs. "Masaki! Our cute son has learned how to take care of people! Masaki!"

"I'm not cute!" Ichigo pouted.

His mother tsk'ed softly, before smiling softly. "Alright, but only a small piece to celebrate." She went to the fridge and pulled the chocolate cake out she had been making that day. "But after that you are going up and brushing your teeth and straight to bed, alright Ichi-chan?"

"Yes oka-san"

* * *

Ichigo returned to his room after having brushed his teeth, grimacing at the lingering taste of toothpaste. He glanced at Blue's figure on his bed, and noticed something on his right side. A sheath was placed there, somehow having stayed out of the way until now. The orange haired boy neared and stared at it, the handle could just been seen as the pants covered most of it.

He slowly touched the handle of the sword, but was stopped from gripping it as a hand took hold of his wrist. He stared up and into dark blue eyes, teal marking covered the lower eyelids. "Oi kid" Ichigo marvled at the deep, ruff voice and stared into the dark blue eyes, which reminded him of the ocean at night. "Oi kid, yer deaf or somethin'?" He raised a blue eyebrow.

Ichigo shook his head before he grinned, still touching the handle. "Nope!" Blue winced at the loud sound, and Ichigo sheepishly smiled. "My name is Ichigo, what's your name?"

Blue glared at him as he removed Ichigo's hand from his sword. "The name's Grimmjow, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques"

Ichigo grumbled as he slowly pushed himself up from the bed, his arms shaking as he strained them to hold his weight up. _Damn it! _Grimmjow gritted his teeth together. _That fucking fight has fucked me up more than I'd expected. _He growled lowly to himself.

"Ne, are you going to stay, Gurimmijuw?"

Grimmjow glared at the kid. "The name's is Grimmjow, not whatever the fuck ya just said, brat."

"Can I call you Grimm?" Ichigo beamed as he tried giving his best impression of a puppy.

"No." Grimmjow growled out. "Who was it that bandaged me kid?"

Ichigo tried growling like Grimmjow had just done, but it looked more like a pout. "My name is Ichigo, I-Chi-Go! Not kid"

"Whatever, was it you?"

Ichigo nodded as he continued to pout. "I'm the only one who can see you, otou-san and oka-san can't see you." He looked up as he sat down, grinning. "If you continue calling me kid, then I'll call you Grimmy" He grinned proudly at the loophole.

"Don't call me Grimmy" Grimmjow tried to muster enough strength to push himself up again, but failed as his arms buckled underneath him, making him fall back onto the bed.

"Are you going to stay Grimm?"

"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that? I won't call you kid and you won't call me Grimmy" He growled as he tried to summon some reiatsu.

Ichigo shook his head, orange locks rotating before he stopped to flash a grin to Grimmjow. "Nuh-uh! I said I won't call you Grimmy if you stopped calling me kid. So I can call you Grimm!" Ichigo grinned as Grimmjow pinched the bridge of his nose.

Ichigo: 1 Grimmjow: 0

Grimmjow glares as he felt a pounding beginning in his head, no doubt a headache. His fingers twitched slightly as the _need _to hold his sword came over him.

"Why does your, um…. _aura _feel different than those swordcarrying people?" The wonder was clear in the little boy's voice.

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow as he looked at the orange haired boy. How could he see those bastards, and him by the way? The kid wasn't dead, that was obvious, his soul was still intact. So how could it be? That was when he noticed it. The air was filled with thick and heavy reiatsu, unlike the humans that was close by.

The kid had asked why his aura, reiatsu, was different than the shinigamies. This meant that he could see them. But he was still too young and unknowledgeable to know the difference between shinigami and hollow.

"That's cause we aren't tha same" Grimmjow leaned back against the pillows and almost purred at the softness.

"But I can feel your, ummm…"

"Reiatsu"

"Yeah, that. Why are yours different?"

Grimmjow grinned and pointed to the hole in his stomach. "Maybe cause I'm different than those lowly bugs?" He chuckled.

How could the kid have such high reiatsu at such a young age? It could be possible that he could become more powerful, if he got some training. Grimmjow licked his mouth as he tasted the reiatsu. _Who cares? Maybe we can spare when he gets older._ Grimmjow leered as his killer intent rose. He could almost feel the kid's blood covering his hand as his sword swung through the air and cutting through flesh and bone.

Ichigo nodded confused, not quite understanding but that didn't matter. His hands slowly began shaking as the pressure in the room rose, bearing down on him as if he was underwater. It suddenly became too much and he fell. His amber eyes widened, scared, as he couldn't breathe. Saliva trailed down the side of his mouth.

Grimmjow glanced at the kid and raised an eyebrow. He was still wondering how it would be, to fight against the kid. So why was he laying in a puddle of his own drool? The small boy's frame slowly convulsed, his mouth flapping open and closed but he wasn't breathing.

Grimmjow stared at the kid as he continued to lie on the ground before he found out the reason as to why the kid was shaking. Grimmjow's reiatsu was lashing around in killer intent, uncontrollable. It much have been too much for the kid, no matter how much reiatsu he had, it was nothing compared to his.

He immediately pulled it back and grinned. Ichigo's body slowly calmed down, laying still on the ground.

"Oi, kid? Ya okay?" The mischief smirk showed his mirth at the situation.

Change that, the score now stood Ichigo: 1 Grimmjow: 2

* * *

**A/N**

I finally finished rewriting this story, and got it deleted from my older account so I could publish it here :)

I hope all of you will enjoy this story, and don't worry, this time I intent to finish what I had begun :D


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